No Mind Readers Please

silent_mutiny @ 2007-12-26T16:50:00

2007-12-27T00:51:40Z

I decided to make a list of the people I care about. I donno why I decided to do this all of a sudden, but it seems like a nice enough way to spend a few minutes, neh?

So! Here we go, in no particular order I present:

Exis’ Love List!

I love Uncle Ghanty cause he gave me sweets when I was a smeet and he was the very first person ever to show me any kindness
I love Honey-Bin because she’s no-nonsense, fair, and likes my cactus beer
I love Vermy-pie, because he’s a great leader, a good friend, and really, really cute
I love Sockums, causes he’s the most talented pilot I’ve ever known, selfless, modest, and my dearest friend on Veloxis
I love Naidy-bug (even though I haven’t seen her in forever) cause she’s just so adorable
I love Mothy cause he’s huuuuuuge, and sweet, and likes my booze, and brings me gifts, and he’s huuuuuuuuuge!
I love Roxx because he’s charming, intelligent, confident, fair, kind, has a heart-melting smile, and he’s one of the hottest pieces of Irken ass that I’ve seen in years
I love Rakie-baby because he’s such a troublesome bastard (Seriously! That boy is constantly getting into trouble, in fact I’m pretty sure he’s in some scrap or another as I write this.)
I love Khalil cause he’s creative, sweet, and I wonder what color his eyes are?
I love Michael because he’s my bestest (and only) penpal friend ever

silent_mutiny @ 2007-11-19T18:36:00

2007-11-20T02:37:23Z

So much has been happening lately! It’s so different from the dull, tragic life that I used to live when Master Xerky was still around. Not that I’m complaining – I love my new life on Veloixs. …Er, even when I’m not actually on Veloixs.

Vermy-pie sent Sockums on a mission to gather materials from an old Irken outpost and he sent me along to help as part of my punishment for crippling a fellow Irken. I feel absolutely horrible for what I did to that poor guy, and I hope he heals quickly. I don’t think I’ll ever NOT feel guilty for what I did to him, even though most of the people who’ve found out about it think that he disserved much worse then what I did to him. Still Vermy had to punish me, otherwise everyone else on the planet would get the idea that it’s okay to hurt their fellow Irkens. And I know I’m getting off way easy with this ‘community service’ stuff.

Vermeil is a good leader, a good person, and a dear friend. I’m going to try as hard as I can to make him proud of me.

Working with Socks has been pretty enjoyable. He’s such a nice guy. He’s so shy and insecure sometimes, and it’s odd having to deal with someone like that, but I appreciate how considerate he is to me all the time. He was so concerned for my safety when we got here that he asked me to carry a gun! I couldn’t bring myself to do that, but I consented to carrying a knife. I still felt like a cold blooded killer carrying a weapon like that though. Ugh.

Socks ran into Uncle Ghanty while we were exploring the outpost. I’m not sure how Ghanty got here, but he was really banged up!! His hands look horrible, and he’s got a busted ankle. Poor Ghanty! <3 I can’t believe I didn’t recognize him at first. When I was a little smeet, our ship broke down and Xerky contracted passage on Ghanty’s ship for a couple of months. Ghanty was the first person I can remember that was really nice to me. In fact, he made sure that the time that we were on his ship, was best time of my childhood. He isn’t much like the guy I remember though… He seems so… Jaded. I know it has to have something to do with the fact that his wife and daughters are missing. I wonder what happened to them?? I hope they’re okay…

Sigh… I hope we can get Ghanty’s ship fixed and get him on the move soon. I want to hurry up and get this mission over with and return home to Veloixs. I wonder how Roxx is doing with my plants? …And with his trainees. XD From what I gather those guys can be a real handful. Poor Roxx! <3 I miss him so much… I can’t wait to get home and start my self-defense training.

I hope everyone else is doing alright too. I hadn’t seen Rakis for a while before we left. I hope he’s staying out of trouble. Then again, even though I’ve only met him a few times, I get the feeling that he’s the type that trouble just seems to chase around. I wonder if Mothy will be back by the time we get home? I wonder if he got me anything? <3 That big lug better get home soon, if he stays away too long my antennae might twist into knots from worry. I hope Bin is alright too… She’s probably holed herself up in the bar, hip deep in that swill they try to pass off as booze in there. If and when I ever get to open up a REAL bar on Veloixs, I’m going to make sure she always gets the special VIP treatment.

And I wonder how my penpal Michael is doing? I haven’t heard from him since that reply message he sent me. The signal is pretty weak on this planet, but that might help disguise our location…

silent_mutiny @ 2007-11-04T22:31:00

2007-11-05T06:32:41Z

How a day that starts so nicely turn into such a horrible, horrible mess? After I met up with Roxx and he agreed to meet me on a daily basis to help me water my plants, I thought that there wasn’t any way that the day could get any more perfect. I never stopped to think that there was one major way that it could get a hell of a lot worse.

Its just my luck that one of the few Irken clients I had back when I was working on Kharna is actually here on Veloixs. He caught me on my way to the mess hall and tried to -- Tried to do something that I don’t even want to think about. Though I think whatever he wanted to do to me would have been much better then what I did to him.

I ripped out his eyes. I’m so revolted by myself. How could I do that to a fellow Irken?? First Master Xerxes, and now this guy… I know I shouldn’t, but somehow I keep doing it, even though I know better. I’m a horrible, horrible person. For more then three decades I was good – I never lashed out at anyone no matter what they did to me. But twice now I’ve ‘defended’ myself, only to kill and cripple an Irken. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. …Maybe I’m even more defective then I realized.

As bad as things were, they could have been a lot worse I suppose. Some really young administrator showed up right after I… I defended myself. And Socks showed up right after that, and they kept the guy from killing me. Even though I feel like he had every right to do so. I didn’t get the admin’s name, but he looked like he’d been through hell and back, the poor guy. Under that eye patch and those nasty scars around his other eye, he was actually pretty cute. Not in a ‘OMG do me now’ kinda way, but more of a ‘aww, smeety-pie!’ kinda way. He was very comforting… If I ever see him again I have to tell him how much I appreciated his kindness. I’m sad that I didn’t get his name.

I’m even more thankful for Socks. He stood up for me, defended me and comforted me from the moment he arrived. He didn’t have anything to gain from it – he did it out of the kindness of his heart. He’s never called himself my friend, but from now on I’m his. No matter what happens, I’ll never forget that he cared enough about me to stick his neck out for me. And I’ll do everything I can to repay the favor.

Vermy showed up too. I think that was even worse then almost getting raped. I almost wish I had gotten raped – he would have gone away with both eyes and Vermeil would have never known that I’m as bad as I am. I think it hurts so much more that I’ve caused him trouble because now I have a true sense of just how great a leader he really is. He truly believes that defects are equals – and he treated me with the same justice as the guy I hurt. He asked me to name my own punishment… I think I failed at that. I’ve never been asked what I thought was fair before, it’s always been decided for me.

Oh, Vermy-pie… If he doesn’t think I’m a troublemaking maniac now, he’ll probably think that I’m a helpless, seditious smeet. Its painfully obvious to me now that I was wrong to assume we could ever be friends. He’s a leader. A good leader. He can’t play favorites among his people and still be impartial. From now on I suppose it’s best that I stay out of his way – out of everyone’s way.

Maybe it’s best if I leave Veloixs altogether… Less Irkens to maim or kill if I’m floating around alone in space. If only I had the strength and courage to leave – I don’t think I’d have the will to live at all if I was alone again.

silent_mutiny @ 2007-10-23T16:45:00

2007-10-23T23:46:09Z

… I have that old human song ‘Ukulele Lady’ stuck in my head now for some reason.

Anyway, the barracks are complete! Sockums helped me make the drop by piloting my ship, and afterwards we went for a spin. Literally! I didn’t even know the Old Junker had it in her, but Sockums handled her like a dream! We did hard banks, barrel rolls, and I think he even pulled off some combat maneuvers. It was so~ awesome!

And get this, Socks told me that he’s a defect too. Who knew?? He looks completely normal, y’know. He didn’t tell me what exactly his defect is, but he seems to think that if anyone found out about it they’d force him to stop flying. I don’t see how that could be possible - he’s such a talented pilot! Only a fool would try to tell him he couldn’t fly.

Poor Socks… He seems so sad sometimes and I just can’t peg why. I know what it’s like to be like that, even if I don’t understand what exactly is making him feel so bad. No one should have to feel like that. It isn’t fair at all that someone as sweet as Sockums should have to go through that kind of pain. I wish I knew what I could do to make him smile – a real smile – if only for a little bit. I wish I had the guts to give him a hug.

While I was enlisting Socks’ help, I got to see Rakis again and meet an even taller Irken named Moth. I think Mothy might be the tallest Irken ever!, at least that’s what the ache in my neck is telling me. And he’s so hoooooot~ Like, scary hot. Like ohmahgawd hot. Like, if he wasn’t so damn tall and if I wasn’t so damn shy I’d jump his bones in an instant. Of course, there’s also the small challenge of me being only half his freaking size. Jeez! There should be a law against being that damn tall. You’d think that an Irken as huge as he is would be lording his authority over everyone, but next to Socks and Vermy-Pie, Mothy is the sweetest guy I’ve met. He even sat down on the floor so I didn’t have to crane my neck to look him in the face. And he liked my drinks~ <3 He’s going away for a while, off planet I think, and that’s kinda sad. I only got to hang out with him for a little bit, but I really, really like him. He’s a really nice guy. I can’t wait until he gets back… It’d be awesome if, by the time he does, I’ll have gotten over my shyness and I’ll be able to run up to him and plant a big wet raspberry right on his belly! (Cause really, that’s about the highest part of him I can reach.

Rakis actually behaved himself while he was visiting my ship. I guess he got into a fight with Moth before and learned a lesson about messing with the Big Guy. Heh! Can’t say I blame him. I certainly wouldn’t want to mess with Moth. Although I think I’d be more afraid of Mothy just sitting on me more then I’m afraid that he’d actually hurt me. Raki-baby got a little mopey right before he left, just like the last time we met. I wonder if that’s going to be a pattern with him?

I think Rakis and Socks are both in some serious need of some four-armed hug therapy.

silent_mutiny @ 2007-10-15T17:02:00

2007-10-16T00:03:28Z

I need to start updating this thing more often – so much is happening between entries!

…When we last left our beautiful heroine she had teamed up with her new sidekick Binny and had received an urgent missive from the handsome Prince Vermy-pie of Irken Command, urging the stalwart crew of the Old Junker home to the super secret plant of Veloixs…!

So anyway, the escort that Vermy promised us finally arrived, and other then a small skirmish with a pack of cowardly Raziers, we were able to make it to Veloixs without too much hassle. Captain Ceztial headed up the escort – He’s a cheerful dude, but seemed a little trigger happy. I suppose he might just have a thing for zapping Raziers; not that I can blame him, heh!

And we got such a nice reception when we got here too~

Vermy was the first out to meet us. He’s so tall~ And even cuter in person. It was a real shock to learn that he’s the Tallest though! I mean, yeah, he’s tall, but not as tall as some of the other folks I’ve seen around here. And he doesn’t have one of those presumptuous hover belts or those creepy gauntlets, in fact he looks and dresses like a pretty normal guy. I’ve seen vidcasts of the previous Tallests, and Master Xerky used to talk about them occasionally, and Vermeil doesn’t act anything like them at all. He isn’t selfish or mean or fickle – he seems genuinely interested in the wellbeing of his people. I’ve never known anyone who would put so much effort into someone else’s health and comfort, and Vermy-pie is doing it for (what’s left) of our entire race!

I got to meet two other Irkens around my height and age too – Naid and Socks. I didn’t get to talk to Naid a whole lot, but she dropped one hell of a bomb on me and Bin. Turns out we’re the only female Irkens on Veloixs! I knew us chick-types were rare, but c’mon! No wonder most of are men have caught the ghay, heh. Naid’s got the cutest little pods on her antennae. I don’t know what they’re for, but they really add to her whole cute-as-a-Naidy-bug look. Socks is a pilot, and a shy sweetie too. He’s got a nifty jacket, but the collar is so high that it hides most of his face. I wanted to pull it down and go ‘peek-a-boo~’ and give him a kiss! He seemed really interested in my Old Junker and wasn’t knocking it as bad as most other folks do – he only pointed out that the landing struts needed to be replaced, which I admit they really do.

Ooo, and get this! Vermy arranged for Bin and I to have our own rooms in the dorms~ My own room! In an actual building!! And the only lock on the door is on the inside, where I can control it! I was in the middle of moving my plants into my dorm (I don’t think I’ll have enough room for all of them, heh! – fortunately Binny took a couple off of my hands to give her room a little bit of color) when this huge Viral Tank landed just outside of town!

Turns out the ship belongs to this Instructor named Roxx… Oooooh purrrrrrrrrrr~ I can’t even say this guy’s name without trilling. He’s. So. Damn. Hot. He’s not quite as tall as Vermy, but damn if he isn’t built. And he’s so nice~ He’s spent the last several years since the Fall of Irk on his Tank with about seventy young trainees. And they’re all so well behaved and disciplined. You’d think with cadets as sharp as that, Roxx’d be a total hardnosed asshole, but he isn’t. He’s seems really concerned about his ‘brats’ as he calls them, and shares Vermy’s drive to revive our race by creating a safe, thriving community.

The tallest Irken I’ve met so far is also by far the strangest. His name is Rakis, and I think he’s a defect like me. He’s got four eyes! Four gorgeous bold red eyes! Sigh, I wish I had a defect like that – one that made me more attractive and less of an eyesore. Still… I guess I shouldn’t complain. I bet I could type faster then Raki could blink! (Bu-dum-pish!) I wasn’t around for most of it, but I think he picked a fight with Roxx, or maybe he was out looking for one and Roxx just handed it to him. Either way, he went at it with a lot of zeal, but not so much, uhm… finesse? Yeah. Come to find out, he didn’t necessarily want to beat up Roxx, he just wanted to fight to get his mind off missing someone. I’ve heard of using physical exercises to reduce stress, but using it to forget about painful memories? Isn’t that what beer is for?? The next time I see Rakis, I just might have to introduce him to Bin, and maybe ask her to give him lessons in getting passed out drunk.

Where was I going with all this anyway? Oh yes! So when Roxx and his crew arrived, we went to see Vermeil, and found out that the town doesn’t have enough housing to room all of Roxx’s cadets. Vermeil is getting supplies together to build more dorms, but in the meantime Roxx has assured him that his crew are fine staying aboard their Viral Tank. I’ve also offered to rehaul the Old Junker’s into a barracks that’ll house thirty Irkens. It should only take me a few days to reverse engineer the locks Xerky and I put on the cargo hold’s drop mechanisms, but I think I’m going to need some help with actually dropping the hold. I’ve never done any inter-atmosphere piloting, except for take offs and landings and even then I don’t have a lot of experience.

…I wonder if I could get Socks to help me out?

silent_mutiny @ 2007-09-26T12:02:00

2007-09-26T19:03:43Z

So much has happened lately that I find that I hardly have any time to sit down and record my journal entries. Not too long ago I finally ran into a satellite station where I not only got supplies, parts and directions, but a new companion as well!

Her name is Bin, and she is an Irken technician of no small skill. She helped me out on the station in exchange for passage to a new Irken settlement on Veloixs. She isn’t exactly a ball of sunshine, but she isn’t mean or abusive at all. She doesn’t treat me like an inferior and doesn’t boss me around. In fact, she seems to let me call the shots around here – something I’m grateful for but not exactly comfortable with.

Bin is really handy to have around, and with her help I’ve found it much easier to keep up on the maintenance that this poor Old Junker needs. Since I’m not running around like crazy trying to keep this big techno-mutt in one piece I’ve had a lot more time to take care of my plants… And get this – I think she actually likes them! Well, she liked my Dahoonian roses anyway. I wonder what she’ll have to say about my maltcatai now that they’ve finally bloomed. I’ve heard Bin grouse about the lack of alcohol on the ship a few times. Wait till she tries the Cactus Beer that I’m going to whip up tonight! I wonder how many glasses she’ll be able to handle before she’s flat on her pac? Ha!

We were only a few standard solar cycles out of port when I got to meet another Irken – a young sweetie named Vermeil. He had sent an encoded Irken message on an old Imperial frequency, and once we responded to it, he opened up a vidcom link to our ship. He was so cute~! And he invited us to Veloixs to stay! We were already heading there anyway, but now I know for sure that we’ll be welcomed.

At least I hope so – Bin didn’t seem to trust Vermy-pie. I guess I was a bit too trusting. I mean, he was cute and charming and cute, and well… No one has ever talked me like I wasn’t an abomination before. Still he knew about Veloixs, he didn’t want our exact coordinates, and he’s sending a ship out to escort us. I’m fairly certain we can trust him. If he wanted to attack us, why wouldn’t he just do it? I mean, it’s not like this Old Junker isn’t a big floating target anyway.

I keep thinking that all this has just been a dream, and I’m going to wake up and find that Master Xerky is still alive and I’m still just a slave. The thought scares the hell out of me. Now that I know that there’s more to life then just being someone’s punching bag, I don’t know if I could handle having to live like that again.

silent_mutiny @ 2007-09-14T20:12:00

2007-09-15T03:22:03Z

Nothing new to report. I'm still totally lost...

Oh, but my Dhaoonian sugar roses finally bloomed. I guess all they needed was some decent UV lighting for a while - which I was never able to give them since Master Xerky seriously disapproved of my little gardening hobby. As if it isn't hard enough to grow plants on a ship, having to hide them constantly was a real pain in the ass. Anyway, now that my roses have bloomed I won't have to worry about running out of rations for a while longer. I wonder if anyone realizes that those high-energy Dahoon Sweet Chips that the whole universe is so crazy over are really just dried sugar rose petals?

Now if only my Vortian maltcacti would hurry up and mature. I could spend an evening parked in front of the vidscreen with chips and beer. ...Provided the vidscreen still works of course.

silent_mutiny @ 2007-09-09T13:43:00

2007-09-09T20:45:57Z

One would think that Master Xerky would have kept at least one map or navigation file on this ship somewhere. I’d like to think that maybe there is a map on this ship and my master has just hidden it somewhere, but as loopy as he was I wouldn’t be surprised if we’ve been flying around for the last twenty years without one. Still, even without a map I’m bound to find something soon. Space may be infinitely big, but it’s also filled with an infinite amount of stuff as well.

I’m not entirely sure what I’ll do when I do find something though. If I’m lucky I’ll run into someone that isn’t too anti-Irken and get the coordinates to the closest planet or station where I can get some maintenance and supplies. Chances are I’ll run into something that wants to put the kibosh on me and I probably won’t be able to deal with it the same way I’m used to doing – running away. This poor ship probably couldn’t handle it anymore. I might have to stand and fight, suicidal as it might be. And right about now I’m if wondering if going down fighting isn’t better then stewing in my own guilt and uncertainty.

Well, no use pulling my antennae out about it. Whatever happens will happen and I’ll just deal with it when it does. Until then I’d better concentrate on just keeping this Old Junker running.

Exis' Profile

2007-09-09T18:13:16Z

Name: Exis (‘eek-sis’ or ‘ex-sis’ work just as well)

Species: Irken-hybrid

Age: 35

Height: 5’

Weapons/Abilities: Exis isn’t aggressive and does not have any significant combat abilities. She is not a pacifist however and if forced to defend herself she would do so using any means necessary. She’s never received any formal training in combat but like many Irkens she seems to have an inherent streak of deadliness. So ‘any means necessary’ often leads to some really gruesome outcomes. Violence against her own kind abhors her, but she has no qualms against dealing out some justice to a creature of any other race that threatens her or those she cares about.

Personality: Exis’ personality and the way she acts are two totally different things. On the outside, Exis rarely shows extremes of emotion, if any emotion at all. She is always respectful and obedient to her betters, and politely ignores anyone lesser then her. She rarely speaks unless spoken to, and when she does speak her voice is always passive and neutral.

That is not to say that she is cold and standoffish however. Exis truly cares for those around her and always puts others before herself. She wants desperately for others to like and approve of her, but finds it nearly impossible to truly open herself up to them.

In her mind however, Exis is extremely outspoken and often very sarcastic. In her head she rants, screams, cries, makes dirty jokes, and imagines her ‘betters’ in amusingly embarrassing situations. If given the chance to speak her mind without repercussions, Exis would be prone to candid, unabashed speech inflected with extreme amounts of emotion. She is very passionate about many subjects – including exobiology, exploration, horticulture, chemistry, and botany – but she keeps these passions well hidden under a placid mask of mild interest.

Exis is an engineering prodigy, able to make or repair just about anything with enough time, materials, and tools. Her true talent lies in growing plants and brewing alcoholic beverages however, and she loves nothing more then getting everyone she meets completely and totally hammered. Strangely enough, she never drinks any of her potent concoctions.

Bio: A rogue Irken scientist named Xerxes created Exis out of a mix of Irken and alien genetics. Defective and insane but a technological genius, Xerxes raised Exis to be equal parts daughter, assistant, and slave. From the moment she was decanted, Exis was reminded that she was not a true Irken and therefore inferior to all Irkens, especially her Master and creator. Exis soon learned to be completely subservient or earn a severe beating that only got worse the more she fought back. She also learned just as quickly that she could be just as mutinous in her head as she wanted to be and no one would ever know.

She grew up constantly on the move with her Master, especially after the fall of the Irken Empire. Exis has lived almost exclusively aboard small ships, and the few times she has been planetside she was not allowed to stray far enough from her ever paranoid master to explore.

There could be no doubt that Xerxes loved Exis on some level but as the years progressed, Xerxes’ already tenuous hold on sanity began to wane and along with it his capacity for compassion. He became more and more unstable and finally snapped, beating Exis to nearly to death for an imagined slight. She was forced to kill him to save her life. She drifted for a while through the universe in their ship, unsure what to do now that her only reason for living is dead – that changed when she met her first real friend Bin and made the journey with her to Veloixs.

Location: Exis is currently in the process of settling down and making a new life for herself on Veloixs. She hopes to eventually convert her ship - a nearly obsolete old Vortian Rover that has been retrofitted with a whole other ship’s worth of Irken parts – into a brewery. Until then, she’ll settle for a job working the local bar.